Read + Write + Report
Home | Start a blog | About Orble | FAQ | Sites | Writers | Advertise | My Orble | Login

Consumption Malfunction - reader's indigestion

Sour Nutty - Consumption Malfunction

Threat of air strikes during Pope visit

June 22nd 2008 02:24
The Jews are poised to attack sinful city of sunny Sydney as the Pope takes off to launch attacks on World Youth Day.

"These measures are our preferred course of action," said one money-grubber as he awaits a messiah who has already left.

The train doesn't carry anyone, unhardly.

The Pope, chosen by God to represent his interests - financial and strategic - here on Earth, has asked God forgiveness for "not whipping them out when I had the chance."

We underpantstand he was stalking about a very naughty boy.

Sydney, a citadel on the rocks, is hoisting the unction - World Youth Day, to spread the weird.

The massage is the medium.

33
Vote
Shared on
Add CommentsAdd Comments
[ Link ]
Posted By: Norm - Category: Games, Poached, Sour, Nutty
   


Bill Henson's victims ask for brains

June 5th 2008 02:28
Those unwilling victims who unfortunately succumbed to the irresistible charms of kiddie-pornographer, terrorist sympathiser and drug boss, Bill "Mad Dog" Henson now tell of their years of torment in front of his vaselined apparatus.

"He used to really smear it on," said one recently formed adolescent with a fanny gate.

The victims were assembled by harmless community leaders who were licking for some action of their own.

"Unfortunately these kids are no longer kids at all," one federal policeman said as his download finished.

"It's thanks to these disgusting images of the human body that we should all fear the human body," a crusader for the righteousness of their own egocentric altruism stated.

Bill Henson, himself now undead, probably wishes he was.








44
Vote
Comments (2)Comments (2) Add CommentsAdd Comments
[ Link ]
Posted By: Norm - Category: Food, Grilled, Sour, Nutty
   


Travis Bickle shoots photographer Bill Henson

May 25th 2008 00:27
Henson asks Bickle to pull his finger

Vigilant tax dodger, kiddie-porn proponent, bearded claimant and reclusive happy snipper Bill Henson has been fatally shot by taxi driver Travis Bickle.

"I wasn't even talking to him," Henson told Saint Peter before being sown the door to Inferno.

It is underpants Cupids, generally thought not to be between the ages of 10 and 16, had earlier attempted to unite Henson and his subject Jodie Foster in a "sexual way".

"Cupids don't carry guns," Bickle told the dithering parents of Foster as he let Henson have it.

"He told me where to go - nobody tells this taxi driver where to go. Nobody!" he whispered while watching a porno with the ageing couple.

Crusaders against art have lauded the movie.

"Anything without children in it is wholesome," a campaigner said while wearing shoes made by children in China.

"These shoes for another instance!" she said after dropping her kids off at McDonalds.

Henson's body will be chemically castrated with Saddam's secret recipe in a private ceremony.



42
Vote
Add CommentsAdd Comments
[ Link ]
Posted By: Norm - Category: Health, Grilled, Sour, Nutty
   


Holden Unveils New Car: The Commoder

May 16th 2008 00:32
The new vehicle, descried by executives as the latest in the ever-decreasing gap between desitiny and home, is descried by environmentalists as a car that shits all over anything else on the road.

Utilising cheap immigrant workers under the floor of the vehicle, where they live with their children and grandchildren, the Commoder wipes up after it's off


[ Click here to read more ]
42
Vote
Read MoreRead More Add CommentsAdd Comments
[ Link ]
Posted By: Norm - Category: Home & Garden, Baked, Sour, Nutty
   


Bush Texas Wedding Spectacular

May 12th 2008 00:08
Held in the labyrinthial dungeons of the Whitehouse, US Presidenture George W. Bush married his daughter of twenty or so ears in a lavish musical conducted by the reanimated corpse of Nazi synthesizer Herbert Von Karajan.

"I was very happy to give away my daughter," Bush said under his breathmint


[ Click here to read more ]
53
Vote
Read MoreRead More Add CommentsAdd Comments
[ Link ]
Posted By: Norm - Category: Family, Poached, Sour, Nutty
   


Talk about Apartheid bash

May 10th 2008 00:41
For he's a golly good fellow

One time terrorist and hero of the West, Nelson Mandela has revealed the guest list of his bathday bash exclusively to CM as part of his community service.

[ Click here to read more ]
45
Vote
Read MoreRead More Add CommentsAdd Comments
[ Link ]
Posted By: Norm - Category: Games, Poached, Sour, Nutty
   


Computer keyboards 'filthier than toilet seats'

May 2nd 2008 00:43
In a shock to many floorgrowers of computer keyboards, top expats have discovered that we'd be safer if we ate dinner in the dunny and wrote and read wiping up afterwords.

"This is a slap in the face to the computer literati," said one well-gnome internet ulcer as he took to his missus with a rolling pin


[ Click here to read more ]
51
Vote
Read MoreRead More Comments (2)Comments (2) Add CommentsAdd Comments
[ Link ]
Posted By: Norm - Category: Health, Poached, Sour, Nutty
   


Ken Done charged by police for molesting children

March 20th 2008 01:02
Acquisitional artist to the stores, Ken Done has been arrested by police at his palatial abode after an investigation discovered he was the head of a child-pornography rink.

"He's been skating on thin ice," said the detective in charge of the arresting ice-ballet


[ Click here to read more ]
35
Vote
Read MoreRead More Add CommentsAdd Comments
[ Link ]
Posted By: Norm - Category: True Stories, Scrambled, Sour, Nutty
   


Only one winner in the race for the Archibald Prize

March 8th 2008 23:34
In a coup for wealthy arts-holes, striving artists have increased the size of the pool in the Archibald lottery.

"We've had to dig around in the dirt for years," said one blood-shot-eyed loser in a dtch


[ Click here to read more ]
55
Vote
Read MoreRead More Add CommentsAdd Comments
[ Link ]
Posted By: Norm - Category: Home & Garden, Grilled, Sour, Nutty
   




[ Consumption Malfunction Home ] [ Create A New Post ]
Moderated by Norm
Copyright © 2006 2007 2008 On Topic Media PTY LTD. All Rights Reserved. Design by Vimu.com.
On Topic Media ZPages: Sydney |  Melbourne |  Brisbane |  London |  Birmingham |  Leeds     [ Advertise ] [ Contact Us ] [ Privacy Policy ]