Stephen Hawking Drowns
September 26th 2008 02:08
Universally acclaimed, award-wage winning ego-head, Stephen Hawking has drowned in the bath after forgetting that he can't swim.
"I knew I should never have let him go in the water," his wheelchair, fizzably shaken, told a shocked English public that was today calling for a pizza.
A person, two walking legs and two wanking arms, had earlier told the police that he had witnessed the terrible events unfold before his very arse.
"At first I couldn't believe it," the Pommy bastard, revisiting the scene told us, "I mean, who washes during the week?" he continued, raving his arms in the hair.
The media pack, a giant organism of clicking and recoding instrumentals, could only nod off in aggrievement at the words of the only knowing witness.
"It's a sad day for the universe," a visibly showing spokesman for the scientific community said, as he whipped away the tears from his wife's crying arse.
Hawking, it is understood, was physically incapable of turning the taps on, as Ginger Rogers explained to Fred Astaire, so how did he drown?
"This wouldn't happen if we could imply slaves, any race'll do, to look after the elite," a voice of treason told his butler, a half and half.
"I knew I should never have let him go in the water," his wheelchair, fizzably shaken, told a shocked English public that was today calling for a pizza.
A person, two walking legs and two wanking arms, had earlier told the police that he had witnessed the terrible events unfold before his very arse.
"At first I couldn't believe it," the Pommy bastard, revisiting the scene told us, "I mean, who washes during the week?" he continued, raving his arms in the hair.
The media pack, a giant organism of clicking and recoding instrumentals, could only nod off in aggrievement at the words of the only knowing witness.
"It's a sad day for the universe," a visibly showing spokesman for the scientific community said, as he whipped away the tears from his wife's crying arse.
Hawking, it is understood, was physically incapable of turning the taps on, as Ginger Rogers explained to Fred Astaire, so how did he drown?
"This wouldn't happen if we could imply slaves, any race'll do, to look after the elite," a voice of treason told his butler, a half and half.
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Comment by RubySoho
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Writers In Writing (and other writing)
Comment by Morgan Bell
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now that would be interesting . . .
Comment by Norm
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It's due in about 9 months. I've done up the toilet especially for it. Just havin' a lend. That's what's great about libraries. The obstetrician said the spine looked good. I said don't judge a book by its spine. Then she said next.
Comment by Lilla
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Comment by Lilla
Enviro Warrior
An Extra Ordinary Life
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Lilla ...
Comment by Norm
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Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
Your writing just gets better and funnier.
This is another purler.
I've always loved your abstractness and obscurity, but I think you've finally found that balance between appealing to someone like me, and people with sane minds. Whatever a sane mind is. Any ideas?
I have a very different black hole theory to Stephen Hawkins but so many brunette women are waxing nowadays, my world has turned pink. At least I can still cling to the Big Bang theory?
I did actually watch a documentary on Stephen Hawkins one day. Is he related to Jennifer? Because her black hole is very appealing when she loses her clothes.
I might go. I'm getting sillier than I usually get.
Comment by RubySoho
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Comment by Norm
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Don't make me enlighten you with Hawking's theory on Black Holes because even enlightenment is lost on that matter.
From what I can gather, he drowned because nobody could decide which part of him to save first. At least the chair made it out alive.
Ruby, he's mine. I'll come and collect him.