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Consumption Malfunction - reader's indigestion

This title is very pointed

November 22nd 2008 23:03
This is where the mandatory image goes.

To write like this takes a lot of effort on my part. It doesn't matter what anyone says I might dare to write a really long sentence that doesn't seem to end until suddenly without warning it does. We call this silly. It's silly to think otherwise.

This is the second paragraph. Often times I'll launch into the main argument that is rattling around in my head in this section. Mostly I'll take a pot shot or two at ideas and sometimes I'll attack people. Occasionally I'll just make this paragraph really long and out of proportion with the rest of the piece. It doesn't worry me that it might seem that I'm coming unhinged in this paragaph. I might even like to throw in a quote or two. Sometimes I go off in that direction and never come back.

I think an ad would do well here.

You might think that you can argue me down. It's all right. I might make a little joke somewhere in here. Be on the lookout for it. If you're not paying attention you might lose the thread of my contention. I know I do. I might throw in a quote or two here. Even try another gag. It might seem like I'm a bit agitated about something. I won't talk about the real reason. It's a personal matter. I might need another image.

This is where the next image goes. It breaks up the monotony.

I forgot where I was because I was inserting an image. Does that ever happen to you? I think I'll be true to time and concede that by veering off here. But I better make a really strong point that will hurt those who've hurt me. I hope that those that share my viewpoint will continue to do so. I'll make out like I just don't care. If I seem defensive it's because I've no other choice.

Things could take on a strange shape here.

Might do a few lines like this. I'm not sure why.

Maybe one slightly longer one with a particularly valid point about the matter at hand. I needed that full stop. That was getting a bit long.

I think it's best if images are kept that way. The last thing you should be doing when reading is scratching your arsehole with a pencil-sharpener. A bit of prop-comedy. Sorry, that was me. I do apologise.

Reason and rage are my favourite combination. Speaking of images, I just made a comma. Remember when I used an exclamation point that time? Oh, the joy! I need to go to the bathroom. Can you hang on? I'm back now. I feel much better now. Time for some imagery.

How about another image? This is where it goes.

So I've nearly finished. You should probably think about what you've just read. Chances are you know how to reason too. You might take offence if I act a little strangely at times. Let's reminisce and have some intercourse.

You don't mind if I come out on top? Do you?

I won't let any insubordination go unpunished.



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Comments
16 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by RubySoho

November 23rd 2008 00:49
the-footer-might-be-something -else-entirely/

The article was hysterical. But that sealed the deal.

Comment by Norm

November 23rd 2008 01:39
I felt like I had to remove the images. No reason.
The ad for Athletes Foot? The foot-fitter says "I've never met a foot I couldn't fit." Funny.

Comment by Morgan Bell

November 23rd 2008 04:55
Mostly I'll take a pot shot or two at ideas and sometimes I'll attack people. Occasionally I'll just make this paragraph really long and out of proportion with the rest of the piece. It doesn't worry me that it might seem that I'm coming unhinged in this paragaph.

very observant!
if you didnt mind being compared to something small, i would call you a fly on the wall! (rhyming!)

now i see that my second paragraphs are rarely long enough - at first i was blind but now i see, the formula

It might seem like I'm a bit agitated about something. I won't talk about the real reason. It's a personal matter.

yes it is a tenet of the bloggers guild that you must never ever answer direct questions, even if it seems like its gunna clarify your point, its just NOT ON!

it also helps if you ridicule others who do answer direct questions . . . hit them with your formula if they refuse to comply . . . thats a well-honed method at the blogger obediance school!


Comment by RubySoho

November 23rd 2008 06:02
It doesn't worry me that it might seem that I'm coming unhinged in this paragaph.

That line is worth repeating. So I will.

It doesn't worry me that it might seem that I'm coming unhinged in this paragaph.


Comment by Norm

November 23rd 2008 21:52
Morgy, yeah, I'm all for asking more of others than I ask of myself. In cricket, for a left-hand batsman there can be a little blind-spot for the the left eye created by the nose. That's why in their stance, a lefty should turn their head to almost rest on their right-shoulder. It takes the nose right out of it. Batting is a lot like drawing. See the object and let your hands make what it can of the visual info.

Rube,
I was born in a tent.

Comment by Chris Champion

November 23rd 2008 23:17
I think an ad would do well here.
This got the loudest of many loud laughs. You may single-handedly create a need for a term for this kind of writing.

Normonics?
Normanismics?
Normonomatopoeia?
Normoronitology?

Whatever is decided upon, it must be named in your honour. We should all work bloggedly to ensure this.

Comment by Norm

November 24th 2008 00:26
We're a funny lot, you know. We have a name for everything: 'everything'. We even have a name for that which isn't: 'nothing'. I like to look around and see if I can find anything that doesn't have a name. 'Anything'.

I think a smiley ace would do well here.


Comment by Norm

November 24th 2008 00:30

Comment by Janet Collins

November 24th 2008 06:26
I forgot where I was because I was inserting an image. Does that ever happen to you?

Sure do. Hysterical post Norm!

Comment by Janet Collins

November 24th 2008 06:26
I forgot where I was because I was inserting an image. Does that ever happen to you?

Sure do. Hysterical post Norm!

Comment by Janet Collins

November 24th 2008 06:26
I forgot where I was because I was inserting an image. Does that ever happen to you?

Sure do. Hysterical post Norm!

Comment by RubySoho

November 24th 2008 15:00
What's that Janet?

Comment by Norm

November 24th 2008 22:40
J, I'm always losing the thread and going off to the shops to buy milk and the paper.

R, it was a good comment.

Smiley face.

Comment by Janet Collins

November 25th 2008 01:37
Norm

Sorry about the repeated comment (twice). My computer was throwing tantrums yesterday. And yes, it is very easy to lose the thread.

Comment by Norm

November 25th 2008 02:26
No worries, J. It's been known to happen. To others.

Comment by Norm

November 25th 2008 02:26
No worries, J. It's been known to happen. To others.

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