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Consumption Malfunction - reader's indigestion

There's no I in KGB: FBI

August 4th 2008 01:07
The Bachelor reads you his rights

The FBI, a benevolent organisation run by vacuum-cleaning magnate Ed Hoover, is furious that it has been likened to the KGB, a malevolent organisation run by bereft-leaning idealogues.

"When we want to get rid of someone," a spokesperson for the burning-cross-dressing clan told the free and the brave, "we just kill them."

It is understood that the KGB, a secret harm of the now dismantled Columnist's block, was happier to see its revolters sent to prison.

"We're not against that as such," the spokesperson said, putting a pillow-case on a pensioner's head.

"If we find someone revolting we usually just close our eyes," they said, chaining freedom to poor people and throwing away the key.

"The key is acquiring property and wealth," they said, putting a few paupers behind bars as white killer criminals escape our conceit of justice.

Ed Hoover, a mouth like an unctious cup, frigger-head for the wheels of the just, the poppy-master for millions of addicts, homo for the free and the manlady of the craven, is wearing pretty thin.

"I look like an emancipated Negro," his corpse moaned from deep below the surface, frying chicken.

"I was always way ahead of my time," the obese, secretly serviced, Mephisto told Liberace, praying with his keys.




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9 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Morgan Bell

August 4th 2008 05:42
vacuum-cleaning magnate Ed Hoover

haha

oh so was that why he liked the ladies clothes . . . hoovering is womens work!

Comment by Norm

August 4th 2008 06:08
How does someone like him, as obviously corrupt as he was, look himself in the mirror in the morning?

Cosmetics and that little red number with the straps.










Comment by D. Armenta

August 4th 2008 23:30
..and candlelight helps too.

Of course, where Hoover is now, his pan-cake makeup is probably running down his face.

Comment by Norm

August 5th 2008 00:42
He'd be ruling around in his grave.

Secretly ruling.

That's what's great about democracy.

It's all true.

J Edgar... in the Book Depository... with the candlelight.

Comment by Norm

August 6th 2008 01:15
I think I know why he killed Marilyn.

He wanted her shoes.


Comment by D. Armenta

August 7th 2008 17:31

Comment by Norm

August 8th 2008 00:55
You know that he just had to have Princess Di's tiara.

His favourite expression when he saw someone who turned him on?
I'd like to tap that
phone.


Comment by D. Armenta

August 8th 2008 14:27
Yeah--probably the only agent in history who required hairspray, heels and a bottle of Jergen's to launch an "investigation"...


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