Three out of 10 men fail to wash hands after toilet, according to study
October 15th 2009 23:21
THREE out of 10 men you shake hands with won't have washed theirs after going to the toilet.
The study has highlighted the alarming ramifications you face shaking hands with your wife's best friend - invariably an unhygienic man - and has led many to question the value of going to the toilet in the first place, or at least wiping.
The Age old practice of wiping - frowned upon in the Middle East - where the arseholes are hairiest - has, along with many outdated social conventions such as nose-blowing and refraining from scratching your weird and wonderfuls, for the first time been legislated against in parts of the newly democratic nation of Iraq, but opponents argue it's "just a piece of paper".
The most vocal opposition has come from the young women of Iraq, many of whom believe that their "unhealthy inclination" towards cleanliness places them closer to God and will lead to them being "wiped off the face of the earth" by the "hands of those stinking arseholes", which has caused a spokesman for the Hairy Arsehole Alliance (HAA) to squirm in his seat.
In a speech before a rally of supporters, the dirty arsehole spokesman, wringing his mum, said that he had evidence to back up his belief that "the dirty arseholes of Iraq are untouchable", and launched into a shitful tirade against Western influences in the "region", before demonstrating to the demonstrators what is meant by "the hands of the Western arseholes are dirty".
A statement issued by opponents of the legislation claims that the new measures will give police the right to "sniff around in my private business", but was met with a swift response from HAA, which is planning to randomly check "every single arsehole which doesn't smell right," and by that is meant every one which doesn't at all.
"I really have no idea what sort of shit goes on in Iraq but let's just say that I have no idea what goes on anywhere else either," said a disgruntled former employer of the person responsible for this shit, "but, I think that the best can be said for half the shit that gets done in this domain is not worth being put to paper. "
My other half is beautiful. Amen.
The study has highlighted the alarming ramifications you face shaking hands with your wife's best friend - invariably an unhygienic man - and has led many to question the value of going to the toilet in the first place, or at least wiping.
The Age old practice of wiping - frowned upon in the Middle East - where the arseholes are hairiest - has, along with many outdated social conventions such as nose-blowing and refraining from scratching your weird and wonderfuls, for the first time been legislated against in parts of the newly democratic nation of Iraq, but opponents argue it's "just a piece of paper".
The most vocal opposition has come from the young women of Iraq, many of whom believe that their "unhealthy inclination" towards cleanliness places them closer to God and will lead to them being "wiped off the face of the earth" by the "hands of those stinking arseholes", which has caused a spokesman for the Hairy Arsehole Alliance (HAA) to squirm in his seat.
In a speech before a rally of supporters, the dirty arsehole spokesman, wringing his mum, said that he had evidence to back up his belief that "the dirty arseholes of Iraq are untouchable", and launched into a shitful tirade against Western influences in the "region", before demonstrating to the demonstrators what is meant by "the hands of the Western arseholes are dirty".
A statement issued by opponents of the legislation claims that the new measures will give police the right to "sniff around in my private business", but was met with a swift response from HAA, which is planning to randomly check "every single arsehole which doesn't smell right," and by that is meant every one which doesn't at all.
"I really have no idea what sort of shit goes on in Iraq but let's just say that I have no idea what goes on anywhere else either," said a disgruntled former employer of the person responsible for this shit, "but, I think that the best can be said for half the shit that gets done in this domain is not worth being put to paper. "
My other half is beautiful. Amen.
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Comment by Janet Collins
Acceptable Etiquette
The Social Critic
Janet Collins Blog
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
im noticing your articles are becoming increasingly R-rated
i hope you know there are friendly families on this site
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
I prefer to think of my slipping standards as Aaaaar-rated...yawning, politely...I have become a frightful bore, I'm afraid...do I really have to repeat myself so much, so often....
Oh, yes, the civil union movement has me in their sights and they're ready to strike...what do we want?...this...when do we want it?....all the time...
the deal was ratified with a sword-fight...
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
spousal, totally spousal
id shake you, but id have to charge . . . lala, lalala