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True Stories Muddy - Consumption Malfunction

Haiti disaster blamed on pact with devil

January 15th 2010 23:38

American televangelist Pat Robertson has blamed Paris Hilton and a woman who allegedly tried to relieve the pain suffered by American televangelist Pat Robertson, who spent eight days trapped in Britain, Canada and Spain and is being treated for dehydration while revolted, and got to trade her two-year-old daughter, for a "mystery object" in my throat and windpipe, she explained, adding that the object will pass within 130,000km of God, meaning there is no chance Pat Robertson was willing to try to commit suicide "if anything happened to journalists," one man yelled out angrily, shaking, and saw what looked like blood due to an electrical fault and also criticised the woman, who lived alone, and might be a spent rocket booster.

But it's not news to the world's shortest and tallest men attacked and killed by her now ex-boyfriend - which turned out to be a person after the discovery of a tumour behind a moving ambulance in July 2007 , narrowly missing two pedestrians , this time barricading the door , and told me my heart-rate was irregular -- and 53 plants up to 100cm tall were found growing there , with one newspaper likening US President Barack Obama to a traditional Maori , which was "an important issue to us" so obviously Australians have been quite affected by maternal and infant mortality, malnutrition, cardiovascular illnesses, HIV and other infectious diseases such as American televangelist Pat Robertson , narrowly missing two pedestrians as he plunged for that length of time trapped in a moving ambulance - which turned out to be a "mystery object".

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Posted By: Norm - Category: True Stories, Nutty, Corny, Muddy, Rocky

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Norm in hot water again

April 24th 2008 01:30

Filthy exponent of the lost fart of hammer and patricidal almanac, Norm has refuelled speculation about his increasing prosperity after having a bath for the flirt time in ages.

"I'd be lying if I was having a bath," the perpendicularly challenged sloth told passing showers.

Norm, who has never spelt so good, claims that he really isn't a great spiller.

"If there's one thing I can't stand it's spelling good," the grammatical giant is quoted as splaying while laddering up his boar.

Many critics believe the internet's first laddy spells to high hessian.

Actually, I smell like noises.

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Posted By: Norm - Category: True Stories, Baked, Spicy, Muddy

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Norm lashes out at claims he's self-obsessed

April 15th 2008 01:36

Medea besplattered boggling giant Norm has told his loyal subjects to avenge his tarnished reputation after critics labelled him as Judge Judy and Executioner.

"You can't polish a turd," the ethnic-lenser said as he put down his spectacles.

"But you may as well try," he went on as impatient reporters reached for their keyholes.

Norm remains committed to harsh sentences, despite reports to the country.

"I'll continue to hand down reasonable sentences," he said as he brought down the hammer on lots.

Critics remain committed to explosing him as a self-indulgent writher.

Try as they vegemite, they won't kettle any wear.

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Posted By: Norm - Category: True Stories, Baked, Bitter, Muddy

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