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Consumption Malfunction - reader's indigestion

Depardieu plays on the NSW right

Gay icon, patroniser of the arts, movie mongoose and hairdressing vigilante Kevin Rudd has ordered back-puncher Depardieu into the sequel of the smash hit after seeing her "sink the boots in."

"I always thought the French were a bunch of pedophiles," the smartly hair-cutted renaissance-man told his twelve-year old assistant.

"But when I saw Gerard playing soccer I thought to myself," the heavy thinking tee-totaller told best friend Mr. Baldy.

Mr. Baldy, AKA Johnny Howard, was in hiding today as the public toilets were set to be re-opened.

"I often find myself hiding behind a bush or two," the bald tenor told delegates.

Depardieu, fluent in the internationl language of soccer, also speaks fluent hooliganism.

"These boots were made for talking and one of these days..." she said before reporters sufferred mild percussion.

Instruments.
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Norm: sorry for sorry sorry

May 8th 2008 23:53
Apologetic ineffectual and cerebral acuity sufferer Norm has told pseudo-sufferers that he's sorry that his 'sorry' was so verily sorry.

"Sorry, this sorry sorry is a sorry sorry from a very sorry soul," said a true ineffectual, explert in all, moister of nuns, teacher of the pimples and ha and matey elephant ridder.

The battle betwine he and Norm for the arse and minds of the pimples has wed some to bereave that the former is the grater.

"He grates on me," said terminal ladder-slider, unintelligible builder, voracious animus, and pus-taker Norm.

For all hat, Norm is verisimiltude to sorrow over the wailments of the world.

"Mire than yule ulcer nose," he bespoke while tailoring his suet.

The bottle for hammerous righteousness goes right drown to aviary shingle word ratten.

The dove, ill, is in the detoils.
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Acquisitional artist to the stores, Ken Done has been arrested by police at his palatial abode after an investigation discovered he was the head of a child-pornography rink.

"He's been skating on thin ice," said the detective in charge of the arresting ice-ballet.

The artist, businessman, designer, child-molester, pedophile, poofter-pasher, scrabble-player, monopoly-exponent, tea-toweller, t-shirter, back-scratcher, mind-bender, moustache-wearer and short-lifter released a statement to the media that was too bright and colourful to be anything other than the work of a bucket-waver.

"I am innocent of the charges," he stated, "but I wouldn't mind if I wasn't."

The skirt-licker is believed to have a penchant for people in pre-pubescence.

"What's done is done," Done told his bank-manager while frittering away his banana-lounge.

The case continues.


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Moderated by Norm
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