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Consumption Malfunction - the original sin.

Urine Artists versus Bullshit Artists: The Art World Holds Its Breath

April 7th 2009 23:16
Urine Artists and Bullshit Artists are battling out a smelly civil war that threatens to besmirch the intellectual reputation of Orble once and for all.

For Orble historian Norm, it's brought back memories of the battles between our earlier pioneers and squatters.

"It's brought back a lot of memories for me," Norm said, "I remember once when I did poos with wees on top," he said, calling for a tissue, as his eye showed signs of moisture.

"Squatters have rights too. We believe that these cables that those in power wish to lay will only spread a terrible form of dysentery," a Urine Artist said, in reference to high-speed broadband.

"Squatters have rights too," Norm said, "They believe that there is no substance to what the Bullshit Artists are doing," he said, "From where I sit, all I can see is a pair of business shoes, but the smell is unbelievable. The shoes really mean business."

The Bullshit Artists, solid citizens, believe their argument has a weight and a presece that the Urine Artists' doesn't which the latter believes only adds to the shitful content of the formers' attempts to saturate the media with their turgid aroma when they curl out their weighty ones.

"We believe there is no substance to what the Squatters are doing," a Bullshitter said, "Except when they accidentally do some shit that we don't find distasteful," he said, going on.

"I'll be fucked if I'm going to shit here and be told that I'm not," a Bullshitter told the man in the next stall. "There should be a big sign on the door that reads "No Squatters", gentleman," the Bullshitter went on.

For their part, the Urine Artists, have called for the Bullshit Artists to follow-through on their noisy protests, which means that fart jokes are off the menu.

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31 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by RubySoho

April 7th 2009 23:22
I know you are making fun of me, but I still find this amusing.

Comment by Norm

April 7th 2009 23:37
I love you. I love Damo. I love Morgan. I love David. I love alt_ed. I love SL Bradish. I love mashed potatoes. I love deep-fried broadbeans.
To me, we're all on the same side. The side of writing about how much we hate each other.
However, I am working on a secessionist plan that I intend to table, shortly.
Damn, yankers!

Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling

April 8th 2009 00:07
I'll look forward to it. (the plan) I'd like to see a bit of sanity restored. The comments sections used to be fun. I even used to write.

Comment by Norm

April 8th 2009 00:17
The subtext of what we tell ourselves we are is that we are all the same. The same but different. The more we tell ourselves we hate someone because they are different the more we hate ourselves.

Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling

April 8th 2009 00:38
Well hate-mongering is something I only resort to when the hate-mongerers attack relentlessly. I tried being peacable with certain people but it only incited them to more hatred, so I just speak in their language nowadays.

They can make of it whatever they will. It's a few seconds out of my life to write some utter bullshit on a blogsite.


Comment by Norm

April 8th 2009 00:49
Hate times hate equals hate to the power of hate.

Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling

April 8th 2009 00:52
You can't love someone who refuses to be loved.

Comment by Norm

April 8th 2009 00:55

Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling

April 8th 2009 00:59
I'll leave you to it. Have a lovely asexual relationship.

Comment by Norm

April 8th 2009 01:03
When I wrote: I love David. I didn't mean I wanted to have sex with you.

Comment by Damo

April 8th 2009 02:55
Why Norman, does this mean that you are tired of supporting the Urine Artist side?

That certainly makes a change.
What has precipitated this new found neutrality?
Was hard being third fiddle on the conga line of Urine Artists?

I am not sure but who knows what you will do without a leg to hump aimlessly.

Comment by Norm

April 8th 2009 03:42

Comment by Damo

April 8th 2009 04:04
Norman

My lips, nay my whole body, belongs to heterosexuality.

I know it is hard for you to cope with but that means you are free to hump the leg of high moral ground all by yourself.

Comment by Damo

April 8th 2009 05:22
Sour

Comment by Norm

April 8th 2009 06:12
We've got what it takes to cook a mean Chinese, Damo.

Comment by alt_ed

April 8th 2009 08:21
I love you too Norm!!! But I still like Asians... do you think we have a chance?

Norm!!!! Where for art thou? NORM!!!!!!!!!

Comment by alt_ed

April 8th 2009 08:22
Sour

Are you talking about your dick or your wife?

Comment by alt_ed

April 8th 2009 08:32
I'll leave you to it. Have a lovely asexual relationship.

Oh Dave... no ones forcing you to swallow a bitter pill. Heaven knows, you might like it though! You certainly seem to enjoying your soggy Sayos

Comment by Morgan Bell

April 8th 2009 08:32
solid citizens indeed, only a piece of shit would think calling someone a urine artist is a damning insult

"Well may we say 'God Save the Urine Artist'; because nothing will save Heterosexuality from Middle Aged Moralising."

i like your sense of humour, Norm

Comment by Damo

April 8th 2009 08:37
Shite Ed must very busy deleting all his old posts off orble. The ones with dildos and the one boasting about stalking.

Yet never too busy to make a fool of himself.

Perhaps if he had the guts to put his own full name on Orble I could use my sources to find out more about him. Never mind I am not interested in which backward inbred village his family came from. His pedigree is showing already.

Comment by alt_ed

April 8th 2009 08:37
You can't love someone who refuses to be loved.

Doesn't stop you molesting the local kindy kids though, does it 'lady' Dave.

Comment by Damo

April 8th 2009 08:54
Well I would love to stick around and be part of this mutual appreciation club but the IQ of the place has just dropped by one Morgan and a Shit Ed.

Destroy me at your leisure.

Comment by alt_ed

April 8th 2009 08:59
Oh Damo... I think David's waiting with an supple palm, and a tube of lube; GIDDY UP COWBOYS!

Comment by Morgan Bell

April 8th 2009 09:04
Damo, you take the internet way to seriously

with your lack of fact-checking and statements like this:

Perhaps if he had the guts to put his own full name on Orble

im beginning to think you are spending far too much time at S.L. Bradish's Fundamentalist Finishing School


Comment by RubySoho

April 8th 2009 10:46
Bahahaha! The 'conga line of urine artists'. That's even better than the 'asexual ajournalist'. Oh you guys are gold! Whoever says I hate either one of you is dead wrong. How can you hate something that brings you so much amusement?

p.s If you Get Caught Perpetuating A Hoax JUST KEEP LYING!

Comment by alt_ed

April 8th 2009 11:18
Oh Ruby... if you keep this up who knows, David might be this years One Night Stand

Comment by RubySoho

April 8th 2009 11:41

Comment by Morgan Bell

April 8th 2009 11:51
no i think David is shagging Teresa - asian style!

if David deletes all his posts its because its because he is an ultra-cool subversive rebel sticking it to the man

Fuck, popularity on Orble is easy to achieve. As soon as I got to number one on Orble I deleted every post I ever wrote. Because it means nothing in the overall scheme of things.

but when alt-ed deletes his posts:

Shite Ed must very busy deleting all his old posts off orble. The ones with dildos and the one boasting about stalking.

Yet never too busy to make a fool of himself.

Perhaps if he had the guts to put his own full name on Orble I could use my sources to find out more about him. Never mind I am not interested in which backward inbred village his family came from. His pedigree is showing already.

but the double standard does not stop there!

when Morgan cites a gay and lesbian bible guide:

Another method of intellectual dishonest is to refer to a false expert or a false authority. It be extremely naive to entrust the interpretations of the Bible to someone whose life is dedicated to attacking and destroying religion.

when Damo believes a piece of fiction from a pro-life creationist website and has the term "intellectually dishonest" turned back on him:

In most cases I also try to avoid writing anything that refers directly to another writer in this forum. I leave the personal attacks to those who do not realize that they are ineffectual. However when someone refers directly to me or my writing and declared that I have been ‘Intellectually Dishonest’ I think that I have earned the right of reply.

At first I might have said, ‘No Morgie Worgie, you’re the big fat liar who has the comprehension skills of Pravda Editor from the 1950’s.’ (eg: “Anti Soveiski, Anti Soveiski”) However emotion tends make great reading but little intellectual nourishment. And so I won’t be using that response.

The reason for this post is simple. I was called a liar,( “Intellectually dishonest” if you like the sweetened up term), because I responded to a letter written by Richard Dawkins to the ‘Sunday Herald’ in Scotland.

awww stings doesnt it you pompous git

i guess in all your sacred heterosexuality you only learned to give it and not take it

my source was, however, real - yours is a piece of spam, much like Davids crybaby posts about noone loving him anymore

heres David having a sniffle:

I was going to go into bat for you on her post, but her hypocrisy prevented me from writing little else than something to expose her hypocrisy.

im pretty sure you did go in to bat for Damo, but you got shot down as usual - everyone knows if you want hypocrisy you need look no further than MyApologetics

i hope you all have a nice gang-bang you hypocritical wankers

before you call anyone else a fraud try validating your own sources


Comment by Norm

April 8th 2009 12:27
Addressed to the Troupes
So, what's the deal with the Swiss Army Knife?
Shouldn't it just consist of a series of nail files of various textures?
I mean, what possible use could the Swiss have for a knife for their army?
Shouldn't they just have a Swiss Army Parasol?
I'm a Swiss national, by the way.
Cold and cowardly.
A potent mixture in the harsh world of political intrigue.
I think one day, we'll all look back on this and laugh.
Probably at our respective funerals.
I'm having "Staying Alive" by the Bee Gees at mine.
That ought to get a laugh. You're all invited
I will be there, in spirit. It's going to be a bbq affair.
I'm kidding. I'll be skipping life for tax purposes.
Best wishes.
Love,
Norm

Comment by Morgan Bell

April 8th 2009 13:28
Start by admitting
From cradle to tomb
Isn't that long a stay.
Life is a Cabaret, old chum,
Only a Cabaret, old chum,
And I love a Cabaret!

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