When Popular Spreads Get Married
November 1st 2006 08:27
I’m a fan of combining peanut butter with either jam, honey, banana or lettuce in my sandwiches. I find these ingredients bring out the best in peanut butter because they’re opposites of a sort. And I know that a lot of people will agree with me on some of those combinations, while others will cringe. But what is the deal with manufacturers trying to amalgamate peanut butter and chocolate? Although Snickers once had a spread of some sort, it was Kraft that started this crazy boom when they came up with Nuts about Chocolate: “A delicious peanut-chocolate spread”. And what a great idea that turned out to be (sarcasm)! Strangely enough, Nuts about Chocolate is the same name as a delicious Dairy Bell ice-cream. Kraft must be pretty good mates with Dairy Bell because I’m sure Dairy Bell would sue Dick Smith if he tried to use the name.
If Kraft’s goal was to make a spread that was visually like chocolate but had the flavour of a weird peanut butter then it has succeeded. Mothers will buy this spread for their children only when they run out of both chocolate spread and peanut butter. Their children will try it once. The novelty will then wear off. The next time the mother offers it to the children, one child will complain “But I just want peanut butter” and the other will whine “But I just want chocolate”. The children will then settle for vegemite and the mother will later buy chocolate spread and peanut butter, each in their own separate containers, where they belong. The Nuts about Chocolate will slowly move to the back of the pantry and will occasionally be used for the children’s art and crafts, practical jokes and idle threats.
Then Green’s brought out Easy Squeezy Peanut Spread with Choc-Chips. White Wings brought out make-at-home-packs of Soft-Centered Chocolate and Peanut Butter flavoured cookies. And Nestle released the sequel to Caramel Kit Kat Chunky, and it was none other than Kit Kat Chunky with peanut butter.
I shudder to think of what the peanut butter and chocolate marriage will produce next... lollipops, milkshakes, yoghurt, ice-cream? This is a marriage that is just not working for anybody. They do not get along with one another. Their offspring are despised and bring shame to the family. These are two spreads that were meant to be single for life. The sooner they divorce, the better for all parties involved.
If Kraft’s goal was to make a spread that was visually like chocolate but had the flavour of a weird peanut butter then it has succeeded. Mothers will buy this spread for their children only when they run out of both chocolate spread and peanut butter. Their children will try it once. The novelty will then wear off. The next time the mother offers it to the children, one child will complain “But I just want peanut butter” and the other will whine “But I just want chocolate”. The children will then settle for vegemite and the mother will later buy chocolate spread and peanut butter, each in their own separate containers, where they belong. The Nuts about Chocolate will slowly move to the back of the pantry and will occasionally be used for the children’s art and crafts, practical jokes and idle threats.
Then Green’s brought out Easy Squeezy Peanut Spread with Choc-Chips. White Wings brought out make-at-home-packs of Soft-Centered Chocolate and Peanut Butter flavoured cookies. And Nestle released the sequel to Caramel Kit Kat Chunky, and it was none other than Kit Kat Chunky with peanut butter.
I shudder to think of what the peanut butter and chocolate marriage will produce next... lollipops, milkshakes, yoghurt, ice-cream? This is a marriage that is just not working for anybody. They do not get along with one another. Their offspring are despised and bring shame to the family. These are two spreads that were meant to be single for life. The sooner they divorce, the better for all parties involved.
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Comment by Nina
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