WHO raises swine flu alert: pandemic 'imminent'
April 30th 2009 02:30
The World Health Organisation has raised its swine flu alert to phase five out of six, WHO chief Margaret Chan said, signalling that a pandemic was "imminent" following the swine flu outbreak.
"It's just a phase we're going through," Chan said, clutching a mask. "It's a bit like when grown men act like absolute pigs," Chan said, explaining the symptoms, removing the mask of an infected man to reveal an animal.
"What we can see from this infection is that when men hide behind a mask they eventually have to be taken off mercilessly," Chan said, clearing her schedule to give us her impression of the male animal.
"I have read George Orwell's Animal Farm and I found it confirmed everything I knew about myself to be true," Chan said, giving us her impression, "I am not an animal," she said, doing the Elephant Man.
"Yes, I have done the beast with two backs," Chan said, clearing her throat, "It goes like this," she said, limbering up, "Be gentle with me," she said, jumping into the sack, "I'm only human."
"I'd give this current outbreak of men showing themselves to be animals, yes, a 5 out of 6," Chan said, spraying her scent on a post, "After all, no one's perfect," she said, "A 6 out of 6 is beyond the reach of man."
"This whole outbreak has made everyone go bananas," Chan said, swinging from the chandeliers, "Many masked men would have us believe that they're not monkeys' uncles," she said, "My foot!" she exclaimed, offering a hand.
"It's just a phase we're going through," Chan said, clutching a mask. "It's a bit like when grown men act like absolute pigs," Chan said, explaining the symptoms, removing the mask of an infected man to reveal an animal.
"What we can see from this infection is that when men hide behind a mask they eventually have to be taken off mercilessly," Chan said, clearing her schedule to give us her impression of the male animal.
"I have read George Orwell's Animal Farm and I found it confirmed everything I knew about myself to be true," Chan said, giving us her impression, "I am not an animal," she said, doing the Elephant Man.
"Yes, I have done the beast with two backs," Chan said, clearing her throat, "It goes like this," she said, limbering up, "Be gentle with me," she said, jumping into the sack, "I'm only human."
"I'd give this current outbreak of men showing themselves to be animals, yes, a 5 out of 6," Chan said, spraying her scent on a post, "After all, no one's perfect," she said, "A 6 out of 6 is beyond the reach of man."
"This whole outbreak has made everyone go bananas," Chan said, swinging from the chandeliers, "Many masked men would have us believe that they're not monkeys' uncles," she said, "My foot!" she exclaimed, offering a hand.
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Comment by Morgan Bell
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haha
i just cut and paste you!
ahhh men, cant live with 'em, cant kill 'em . . . but apparently if you sleep with the right ones you can indoctrinate bloggers into Morganness
Comment by RubySoho
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Have I told you lately that I love you? I have always known that about myself. But (re)reading that line confirmed it.
Comment by Norm
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I'm just a bit worried that somebody might think something funny is going on here.
The walls have eyes, and they're not happy with me.
Rubiscubis, you're one too.
I think I read Animal Farm when I was 13 years old.
That's so long ago, it's not funny.
Onward Christian soldiers.
Comment by Morgan Bell
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Comment by Mau-Medellin
Mau-Medellin
Comment by Norm
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Mau, I'm freezing. I'm talking frames. Chicken frames. Nothing goes around a picture like one.
Comment by Morgan Bell
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theatre projectionist is my idea of the ultimate job, im not sure if i could handle being the screen at the same time . . . you cant handle the truth, Tom
Comment by Mau-Medellin
Mau-Medellin
Comment by Norm
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However, I do think that a projectionist or usher would be my kind of work. Very little.
Mau, don't you think you might be overdoing it, just a little. I, personally, don't. Think, I mean.
Comment by Mau-Medellin
Mau-Medellin
Comment by Norm
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They said they had photos, but they didn't even have cameras back then.
Comment by Morgan Bell
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i could imagine you working as an usher, you could wear a little shirt that says "We represent the Lollipop Guild", and with a sweeping arm gesture chirp "We welcome you to Cineplex Land"
gah . . . you changed the comment, i feel like a sausage
Comment by Norm
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My dog and my budgie are under the table.
They really shouldn't challenge me to a drink-off, again.
Comment by Mau-Medellin
Mau-Medellin
The dog though well, I'd get a Vet to check that out - might be contagious, just like a dirty dave rash!
Mau-Medellin
Comment by Morgan Bell
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can i say my line again?
it was a good one, pretend you didnt already read it on facebook . . .
really? i didnt feel a thing!
*cue the canned laughter*
Comment by Norm
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I reckon, you're a lot bigger than you appear.
Far be it from to judge distances.
I can't see past the end of my own nose.
It must be at least a foot.
It certainly smells like it.
Comment by Mau-Medellin
Mau-Medellin
You turned down a Jimmy... guess you can't handle your drink after all.
Comment by Norm
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Comment by Norm
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I can handle my alcohol, Mau.
As long as it stays in the bottle.
Comment by Morgan Bell
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Comment by Norm
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Sorry, to take the rug from your feet, again.
Comment by Morgan Bell
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nice waistcoat
Comment by Norm
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I hope you're happy.
Happiness is nice.
Comment by Morgan Bell
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its gone skewif . . . sorry
Comment by Mau-Medellin
Mau-Medellin
I will challenge you to a drinking session one night. The rules will be simple. And Morgan will adjudicate. The winner will be whoever out of us both, Wins!
Comment by Morgan Bell
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especially for you
cropped it down, to your size, so you could feel comfortable again . . . shrunken, for her pleasure
Comment by JohnDoe
Film & TV on DVD
from your loyal reading pork bi-product bake-on in snot!
Comment by Norm
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Morgan, by any measure, you're a just ruler.
JohnDoe, life's for laughing. Thanks for the visit, your loyal highness.
Comment by Morgan Bell
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i hope noone ever puts you in charge of the nukes
Comment by Norm
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